Shhh…. Your man has a secret. Not just like the other ones. He actually has a secret that he will never tell you. Even if you tried to discuss it in an open conversation he still wouldn’t tell you. He already knows which truths you can and can not handle.
To him, it’s not lying. He is just doing what he has to do to avoid a long drawn out discussion that he doesn’t want to get into with you. Women are known to debate and create a National Disaster out of leaving the toilet seat up so a man is definitely not about to share real issues with his woman. He knows she will explode.
There are just some things women can not handle. Especially when it comes to her appearance, she doesn’t really want to hear the truth. She wants to hear encouragement. He knows he’d better say the right thing or one or two things will happen in response. Either she will blow up and create a never ending debate about it or she will deflect it by throwing his flaws in his face.
Your Man Is Never Going To Tell You You’re Fat
When a woman asks a man about her weight she doesn’t honestly want to hear the truth. She wants to hear encouragement.
“Baby, does it look like I’ve gained weight?”
He knows how he wants to respond but he knows he’d better just say the right thing. “Baby you look fine to me.” She’ll respond… “But that’s not what I asked you.” Then Boom! Here it comes. Call Ricki Lake or somebody because it’s going to be a TV Show. He is not getting out of this and he knows it.
Instantly, he starts blaming himself for even coming in the room while she was getting dressed. He thinks to himself, “Why did I even come in here? I knew I should’ve just gone into the den first. Damn, let’s see. Ummm… what I meant was, Baby ummm no you haven’t gained weight that I can tell. You look fine.”
It’s not a lie. It’s like a stretch of the truth for goodness sake. Had he just come right out and told her, “Yea baby you have gained a lot of weight” she may have just responded, “I know. I need to work out.” But, that’s not too common. The normal response would be negative. To avoid the drama he saves himself by saying what he needs to say.
Your Man Is Never Going To Say You Lose A Comparison
Men never go to their lady and ask comparison questions. “Say baby do you think my butt looks as good as Boris Kodjoe’s butt?” No! He doesn’t look at Boris Kodjoe’s butt and he doesn’t want to know if his looks like Kodjoe’s.
It doesn’t bother a woman to see Beyonce or Kim Kardashian on television and out of nowhere she will ask her man, “Do you think my boobs are as nice as Kim’s?” He is like what? Where did that come from? I’m trying to eat my dinner and watch the game. “I know babe but I wanna know. Do you think my boobs look like Beyonce’s boobs?”
He doesn’t know what to say. So he gives the generic answer. “I like your breasts the way they are.”
That answer is not what she wants to hear. She knows he is just trying to dodge the question so she leaves him alone although he knows later on she will ask that same question again. It’ll happen when he is not even paying attention and she’ll catch him off guard. “So, you never really answered me.”
Of course, he’s going to pretend he doesn’t know what she is talking about. “Babe I never answered what?”
“The question I asked you earlier. Do my boobs look better than Beyonce’s?”
He is not going to give you an honest answer. He is going to say yes because he knows that’s the only way he is going to get out of a long debate with you. Men don’t compare their bodies to other men.
Women, on the other hand, will compare themselves to someone in the mall. “I saw you looking at that girl’s butt when she walked by. Does her butt look better than mine!”
Your Man Is Never Going To Say Your Food Wasn’t Good
If he wants you to keep cooking for him he knows what’s best for him. Anytime his woman asks him how her meal was to him he will more than likely say something positive even if he doesn’t mean it. This is one of those questions where he can’t even stretch the truth. He has to flat out lie.
It’s hard to find women today who will even attempt to cook for him so rather than lose altogether he will say what he needs to say and just hope she gets better over time.
“Yea baby that was delicious.”
She says, ‘Well Good. I was thinking about cooking again on Sunday.” Immediately he knows he has to deflect the idea of eating that dogfood again so he covers it with a romantic idea.
“Well, baby I was thinking maybe I could take you out Sunday!”
He can’t tell her she doesn’t cook well because cooking is something a woman puts a lot of time and passion into. Every woman thinks her cooking can satisfy him. If she knows he doesn’t like it she’s not going to ask him for advice to get better at cooking. She is going to tell him, “Well, next time you can cook for yourself then.”
He’ll have to hear how ungrateful he is. He’ll have to sit through her giving the list of all she does to try to make him happy and how he doesn’t appreciate her. He doesn’t want to hear all that noise so he consolidates the negative energy immediately by saying what she wants to hear.
Your Man Is Never Going To Tell You If A Co-Worker Likes Him
If he is really dumb he will tell his woman when someone at his job flirts with him. For what? That has to be the dumbest thing he could ever do. Now while he is at work she is wondering what is going on at his job. It’s like a permission slip for her to call and text every hour of the day and even pop up at his job unexpectedly.
He doesn’t want to play the questions game every day when he gets off work so he is not going to give her the real details of what happens at his job. It’s like giving the devil an invitation to a party of Angels. Trouble is definitely coming.
If he tells her someone at his job likes him it just cradles him in a bed of even more lies. “So, this girl Lela at your job who likes you… Is she pretty?”
You think he is going to tell you the truth? Heck No! “She alright but she ain’t my type.”
“Oh, so you have a type?”
He is just going to bury himself more and more because he is a man and he’s too dumb to say the right thing in the right way. He will try to avoid this conversation altogether because he knows he won’t win this and it has the potential to last weeks and weeks. Anytime he comes home late…. “You’re late. You better not let me find out you were with that Lela girl either!”
If someone at his job likes him it will stay an office secret. He’s not going to bring that home. It will only create major drama at home even if he hasn’t even flirted with the girl at the office. Just the fact that she exists is enough to mess his woman’s mind up.
Your Man Is Never Going To Tell You If Your Sex Is Not Pleasurable
Women expect sex to be an experience every time. Their sexual performance is something they feel will keep him faithful. It’s like their leverage. If she knows he loves the way she makes him feel during intercourse she trusts he won’t cheat on her.
If she ever asks him how he really feels about her sexual performance he knows what to say. He doesn’t need to think about it. No beating around the bush. This is no time to be open minded. He has to say the right thing. He knows he must make her feel as though she has him locked down.
It keeps her happy and it keeps him out of an argument. Truth is, sex doesn’t have to be an expedition for men. Most men are satisfied with a climax however he can get it. Women, on the other hand, want a Fantastic Voyage! She feels she must give him one. If she ever finds out it is boring to him or unsatisfactory he knows her feelings will be hurt and she may withdraw sex from him for a while. That’s something he definitely doesn’t want. To most men, poor sex is always better than no sex at all.
It really just drives the point that couples should practice honesty in every aspect of the relationship. Most time it’s not in what you say but how you say it. Truth is the most valuable commodity in a relationship. Without it, there is no real communion between two people.
As long as we continue to pacify each other’s emotions with the counterfeit version of Truth Divorce will continue to rise and Infidelity will reach new heights. Truth to hurt someone’s feelings is disrespectful but Truth to help someone improve is always honorable. A man has to look her in the face and tell her how he feels. Then he must give her the ways he plans to help her improve.
Most people are not afraid of the Truth. They are more afraid of being left to deal with it alone.