It began as a fun thing to do. Both of you were just hanging out and laughing. Then, that night… MmmHmmm… you know that night! The night “friendship” walked through the fire of Romance and somebody ‘got burned.
This New Thing
This new thing is not what you were used to. It had you thinking about your “friend” in unexplainable ways. You were on your job wondering what your “friend” was doing. For some reason you were urged throughout the day to send those, “I’m just thinking about you” texts. Then, like lightning striking, it hits you. You are in love.
Every slow song on the radio had meaning and movies you would never pay attention to seemed to be the best movies ever produced. You know you wouldn’t normally watch The Notebook three times in one week! You don’t even know why you’re acting like this. You are caught up in something you never imagined would tangle you up in strings.
Then It Happens
It takes a while to admit when you are really into someone. Then, when you finally accept what is happening to you its time to make it official. When you step to that person who has invaded your thoughts for weeks and taken over every peaceful minute of your sleep you are confident and confirmed they feel the same as you.
I need to talk to you about something. “Really, because I need to talk to you about something as well.”
You go first. “No, you go first.” No, seriously. You go first. “Ok. I have really enjoyed all this time we have spent together but…”
That word. That word. That word. Isn’t that word a killer? When you hear the word ‘But’ just know it’s usually followed by something you don’t want to hear. Then it happens. The sequel to the beginning of the sentence that is going to mess up your entire week and possibly next few months…
“but… I think we need a little space.”
The Instant Explosion
There is no sense in keeping it cool. You know what this means. Kick over a trash can. Yell to the top of your lungs. Jump on top of a park bench. Let it out because truth to the matter is it will kill you to hold it in.
The worst thing a person can do is try to explain why they need space. “It’s not you. It’s me. You’re a good person. It’s me. You’re a really great person.”
Yea, but obviously not GREAT ENOUGH FOR YOU!
Space is usually the response to misunderstood feelings. What is Romance to one person could just be a usual night after a few drinks for the other person. One person is in a trance. The other person is just… just… well… the other person is just trying to get laid. There is no easy way to say it. There. Boom. Badabing.
Most people do live on a conditioned pace. They are used to their lives following a familiar routine. When it is altered many times the alteration is not easily accepted. The person who is used to hanging out and living free won’t easily conform to the sudden obligation to check in with someone and wake up next to them. They will not accept a change of pace until they are completely ready for it. If rushed, they will pull away in fear of losing the freedom which makes them most comfortable.
If it began one way and moved another way it can be good sometimes. Especially, if both people enjoy the new direction. However, if one person is feeling this new direction but the other person doesn’t, expect that person to slowly pull back.
It could be a reality check. They realize they just don’t like you how they assumed they would. Honestly, the most honorable thing they could do for you is cut it off before it goes too far. You’d find out too late that they aren’t really in love with you and you’d probably be even more upset months later.
Space simply means, “I’m not 100% on board this flight.” It’s not that they don’t like the airline but it’s just not their favorite airline. Why would you want to keep someone strapped to your seat if you know as soon as you land they will hop on another plane? It’s for your own benefit to accept the Space and look for a new passenger who could possibly end up being your Co-Pilot.
You’ll have to understood that you are also a Flight Risk for them as well. They already know you won’t last with them because they aren’t going to last with you. They instantly see you becoming what they don’t want. They know eventually they will have to have you escorted off their flight. Why wait for you to disrupt all their other passengers? It may be best if you were escorted off the plane before it even takes off.
If it’s not meant to be it’s just not meant to be. Don’t look at Space as the enemy. When it comes to your destiny, Space is actually your best friend. It’s the only thing preventing you from wandering down a road which leads to a dead end. The dumbest thing you can do is see the Dead End sign and drive down the road anyway.