You think he’s going to. You want him to. Truth is, you’ve been planning this wedding for years. Before you even met him you’d thought about this day ten million times. Guess what? He hasn’t. He’s probably not even going to propose to you.
Divorce is higher than ever. Women want a wedding so badly they will settle for whatever to take some pictures and wear that beautiful dress. Nothing will convince a woman in love that the man she thinks about all day at her job is not even thinking about marrying her.
A man typically doesn’t even want to talk about marriage early in a relationship. Better yet, even after a year most men don’t want to even think about it. In fact, most men feel like they are pushed in the direction of marriage before they were completely ready to even entertain the idea.
There is nothing a woman can do to set him up for a possible proposal. Most times women don’t realize there may be some things she is unaware of that are turn offs for most men.
1. Don’t Invite Him To A Wedding With You
Unless he is one of those guys who sits up and watches old black and white romance movies with you he is not romantic as you are. He does not want to sit beside you at a wedding. He’s knows you are vulnerable for the fairy tale. Men don’t want to go anywhere with a woman that will put “Marital” thoughts in her head.
Why on Earth would your mind want to go anywhere near an environment that is 70% hitched, 25% seeking to be hitched, and 5% who were already hitched but it didn’t work out? You love the environment because you silently hope it makes him interested in the thought.
It doesn’t. It just makes him think about who he can call to get away from you after it is over. A man doesn’t like to be manipulated into anything. When he proposes to you he wants the idea to be completely his idea without anyone pushing him into it.
If you want your desired wedding date to be pushed back even more take him to a friend’s wedding with you and be more romantic than he expects. You’ll get the ultimate Push-Away.
2. Don’t Paint The Picture For Him
What are you thinking about? Don’t do that. It’s only beautiful in your head. It’s not beautiful in his head. He doesn’t care what colors you’ve always wanted your wedding to be. He doesn’t want to know how you have always dreamed your wedding gown would be. If he doesn’t open the conversation on weddings you don’t need to drive down that street.
When proposing is on his mind he will start talking to you about it. Until then, hush. Don’t assume he won’t mind hearing about your magical day. He will mind. It’s only going to make him believe you are trying to push him into an alley that he doesn’t want to enter. If you drive him down that street he is going to leave you on the street by yourself.
You’ll know when he is slowly moving in that direction. He will start talking about future plans. He’ll start mentioning long term goals. When he gives you his bank account number or the passwords to his social sites then it’s okay to paint your picture for him. If you’re still wondering who is texting him while you’re on a date he is nowhere near the picture in your head. Bring it up if you want to and you’ll get the ultimate Push-Away.
3. Don’t Play Wedding Music When He Is Around You
Don’t act like you didn’t know that playlist was coming on next. If you’re having a quiet evening the music should never be marital suggestive. It will make him uncomfortable. He doesn’t know if they are just your favorite songs or if they are subliminal messages. If they are your favorite songs why are all of your favorite songs about marriage?
The man is not crazy. Don’t you dare have Eric Benet and Tamia’s “Spend My Life With You” playing. That song should never be followed by K-Ci & JoJo’s “All My Life”. Don’t you do it. He is definitely going to know you’re trying to tell him something if he hears Kenny Lattimore “For You”. If you ever make the mistake of following that with Luther Vandross’ “Here And Now” he is a gone capone. It won’t take long for him to all of sudden have an important meeting that he forgot about.
Weddings songs will get you the ultimate Push-Away. Put on some Jazz or old school Soul. You can even play 90s R&B. Just be sure it’s not Jagged Edge’s song “Let’s Get Married”.
4. Don’t Make Him Go Look At Rings With You
No Ma’am. Looking at rings are an instant sign to him that you are thinking about getting married. What other reason would you want to go look at rings? He doesn’t care that the jewelry store has a sale. He doesn’t care that you saw something you liked. He doesn’t want to see it.
If you show it to him it makes him feel obligated to get it for you. He feels if he can’t get it for you it’s like not being able to shower you with the things you desire.
To women it is just looking at rings. Newsflash. Men don’t window shop.
If you take him to that ring store with you and he is not ready to cross those tracks the mood will be different when you leave the jeweler. Making him look at rings tells him two things. Marriage is on your mind and you have already looked at a ring before you brought him to look at it.
The thought has to be his. If you plant it in his head you manipulate him to make a move before he is ready to make it and you will ultimately suffer the consequences. If you suggest looking at a ring before it’s his idea it’s the last thing you’ll look at with him.
5. Don’t Look At Bridal Magazines or Television Shows Around Him
You may think it’s just a magazine but when he sees you looking in the Bridal Magazines he thinks you are getting ideas that he is not ready for yet. Why else would you look in a Bridal Magazine? People who are thinking about sex look at porno mags. People who are thinking about gardening look at the gardening mags. People who are thinking about getting married LOOK AT BRIDAL MAGS!
Maybe the real problem is women must obviously think most men are dumb. If a man comes to your house and he sees bridal books and ring books all over your dining room table you better have a side gig as a Wedding Coordinator. That’s the only explanation that will keep him from drawing a line between where you are in the relationship and where you could immediately grow.
By all means don’t you ever let him see you watching those Bridezilla Reality Shows. If they are entertaining to you, well good, just watch them when you’re not around him.
You may be just watching a reality show but you will never be able to convince him that you won’t be the same way. No woman begins as a Bridezilla. She starts as the sweet bride just recently engaged. Bridezilla just comes out of nowhere. If you watch this show while he’s around you loosely plant the idea in his head that you could possibly be a Bridezilla.
Let Him Be Ready
You’ve been dating him for a while and things are going well. He seems nice and you are slowly drifting away into Fairytale Land. It’s a wonderful feeling. Why mess it up by rushing?
What makes a man’s proposal the special is the authenticity of the decision. Men talk to others before they decide to pop the question. They will wrestle in their Spirits for days… weeks… months… sometimes even years before they are completely ready to make that grand move. But isn’t that what all women should want? Assurance.
You want him to be sure he is ready. He should have a clear mind. He should have all sexual temptations under control. He should be positive that he is willing to commit without any regrets. Don’t force him. Don’t manipulate him. Don’t push him. Let Him be Ready.
When he’s ready and completely sure, you won’t get the man you’ve always imagined. You’ll get the Husband you could never imagine.